[Jane W]

...becoming 100% worthless from xbox addiction? HELP! I love my son. We have always been buds and he maturely moved out when he was 18. Now he is 23 and he moved back home. He spends about 18 hours/day on xbox 360 live. The other 6 he eats and sleeps. He just quit going to work 6 weeks ago. Says he is looking for a job but he isn't. He looks up the classifieds once in awhile but never follows thru. I made him a great resume to help move things along. He is defensive or walks away when I try to motivate him. It is time for him to get a life and I want him out. Im in hardship times and it bothers me he isn't trying to help - by at least supporting himself. How do I put an end to this without creating a war or hard feelings? How do I kindly motivate him to get the hell out!

[b44z]

Well some folks here won't like my answer but I would take the X box and lock it up somewhere. Tell him if he can find a job and a place to live he can have it back but not until then. He may get mad but maybe that is what is needed to motivate him to get off his duff and quit sponging off Mommy.

[justagrandma]

Create a war and hard feelings. Better he should have them than you, hes younger he has more time to get over them. Remember that no one can take advantage of you unless you let them. Tell him to take his x box and get out or get a job by the end of the week. Tell him he can find a friend to move in with because he has worn out his welcome and you are tired of seeing him go back to adolescence. If he is depressed, you may have to get him some help first. But if its just slacker stuff, let him get angry and want to 'show you'.

[jamincoe]

sounds like a loser - use a crow bar

[katobow]

I did this when someone I knew needed a place to stay for part of the summer so she could get her "thing" together. Allowed her to live with us for 2 months (just start the 2 months with your son now). Give him 2 weeks to get a job or another place to live right off the bat. With the 6 week period after, since he will have a job, he can give you 1/6th per week of what it will cost him to move into another place, figuring in deposit, rent, and electric. If it's expensive where you live he may need to give you 1/8th of the cost for 8 weeks instead. Though the girl I let live here screwed up the money at first, by going on spending sprees to my distain, she actually was out of the house in 5 1/2 weeks! You just have to put your foot down. I have a 23 year old too and he's enjoying a townhouse in Florida with a roomate, the owner of the townhouse. We have a fine arrangement! : )

[Tammi]

Well, you are between a rock and a hard place. You have no choice but to risk hurting his feelings right now if you are going to do what is best for him and for you. You are doing him no favors by keeping him there for free. Its time to show some rough love and just tell him the truth. Let him know that you absolutly love him, and you believe in him. Tell him that you want him to have the best, and that you will support him as he goes out to get it for himself. Tell him you are always an open ear, and that you will help when you can, but its time for him to go get a new place and a new job, because its not really working out with him living there with you. Suggest that maybe he and a buddy go in together to rent an apartment. Remember, you love one another, and while it seems tough now, it will get better.