[alex]

Got any funnies?


Vanilla Pudding Robbery

Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.

Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were surprised to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of vanilla pudding.

As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."

The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened. They did not find even £1 in sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of pudding. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read:





IRELAND 'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING!!!!

[armasravi]

The perfect divorce letter

'nuff said

[cheesewheels99]

Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahahahaha Thays Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Funny

[Cew27]

here are 2 funny pics

[cheesewheels99]

the 1st 1 is of u from ur website

[ARMIGO]

Nice peoples our irish neighbours. Now im forced not to plunder a bank in dublin for the rest of my life. Not that I was planning to do so

[Kolubive]

funny ...

i use dialup so i can;t see the videos but thx anyway

[cheesewheels99]

wat videos? those were pics

[Jimmy Hat]

What was the Indian karaoke singer called?


Gerupta Singh!! Heeheehee.

[alex]

Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way home, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!

Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION:

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmascracker-pulling accidents.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A & E in the last two years after trying to open bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and

finally... In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skullsincurred whilst throwing up into the toilet.